When Madness Falls
by SepticFanFics
Summary: Just a random story with some Simpsons quotes thrown in. It's not exactly the most realistic story that could fit with the books, although some of it is plausible. Please read and review. Rating for mention of a few things.


**A/N: This story was written using quotes from Homer Simpson out of The Simpsons. Someone I know suggested writing a story with quotes from something else in them so this is the end product. I hope you enjoy it!**

It was a cold winter's day and the Order was meeting at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. It was the first time they had met for several weeks because the Ministry had a lot on and the members who were Professors had to teach. It was the Christmas holidays now, however, and they were finally able to meet once again.

All of the Order members were assembled in the kitchen and the meeting was just drawing to a close. "Thank you all for your time this evening," Albus Dumbledore said as he looked over all of his friends and colleagues, "Now, if you could excuse me, I have some work that I must attend to back at the school." With that, he walked past the few members who were standing and left the room, his purple cape flowing behind him as he disappeared down the corridor into the darkness. A few seconds later, the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard and the Order meeting was officially over.

A few seconds later, Fred and George Weasley appeared in the room and Molly jumped, immediately screaming at them, "What did I tell you about doing that? Just because you have magic doesn't mean you have to use it!"

The twins looked at one another and laughed, only making Molly look angrier, but they didn't care much. Arthur looked at them both, and then said, "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." The whole room looked at him in shock. They had never expected to hear those words come from Arthur Weasley. He was always such a kind hearted man, the sort who would never give up, yet this man now seemed to be the complete opposite.

"I think you need to learn some manners, Arthur. Speaking to them like that certainly isn't clever," Molly snapped at him as her glare switched from the twins to their father. She seemed just as surprised as everyone else was but Arthur just didn't seem to care.

His only response was, "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" He then got up and walked out of the room, a slightly dazed look upon his face.

Sirius hurriedly changed the subject to one of his favorite topics of conversation; Alcohol. Remus suspected that he had already been drinking that day and Sirius only confirmed that with the statement, "No function beer well without." He seemed rather proud to have come out with that sentence and Remus sighed, saying, "I thought I told you to lay off the drink for a few hours, Sirius?"

Sirius simply shrugged, shoving his way past Remus and into the cupboard full of various types of alcohol, and helped himself to a bottle of firewhisky. He passed out the rest of a crate of bottles to the rest of the Order and said, "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems." Remus frowned once again, putting his own bottle of firewhisky back into the cupboard.

"Oh, lighten up, Remus," Sirius said, "It's only firewhisky!" He then downed the whole bottle, grinning to himself.

Fred and George then took out a packet of Wizarding snap cards and began to play cards with one another. After a matter of seconds, the pile of cards exploded and confetti was flung everywhere in the room. Sirius continued to grin gleefully as Remus said, "This is just like a wedding now!"

Sirius frowned, walking drunkenly out of the room with a look of determination on his face and Remus just shook his head, unsure of whether he should bother following his best friend somewhere again or not. It usually only led him to trouble so he didn't bother. Instead, he turned back into the room to find Molly shouting at her two boys again, "I know it was you, Fred!"

"I'm George, mum," Fred said, laughing at the look on her face. George just shook his head and said, "No, I'm George!" This only confused her more and she decided to just give up deciphering who was who, "You can both clear up the mess! I know it was one of you!"

Remus laughed and walked over to them, "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here." He smiled at the pair of them, knowing they already knew that and were trying to implement it.

Ron then walked into the room as well and approached Remus and his two older brothers with a little caution, "Remus, Sirius is actually reading upstairs. I'm a little worried," he announced, making the whole room fall into silence. Out of all the things Ron had said, that had to be one of the strangest.

"Sirius? Reading?" Remus' mouth dropped and he wondered if his best friend was actually ill. He had never read anything in his entire life if it wasn't either a porn magazine or the Marauder's Map and by the sounds of things. What he was reading was neither of those things. "I should go and see if he's alright," he said, heading off into the corridor.

He walked up the stairs to the library and found Sirius sitting in one of the chairs with a giant addition of 'Webster's Dictionary' in his hands. He still had the same confused look upon his face as he had done when he had left the kitchen just minutes before. "Sirius?" he asked, "Are you alright? It's just… You're reading."

Sirius looked up at Remus and nodded, a frown upon his face, "Yes, Moony, I'm fine. I was trying to find something out, that's all." He then remembered that Remus was his clever friend and a smile appeared in the corners of his lips again, "Remus? What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden. I don't remember Fred and George doing that earlier when you said it was like a wedding."

"Oh, Sirius," Remus said, laughing at him. He was clearly very drunk. "You looked up weeding, not wedding! Come on, let's put the dictionary away and get you to bed before you do anything else that's enough to terrify the whole Order!"

With that, Remus helped Sirius to get back to his feet and put the dictionary away, then walked him to his room and helped him into bed. "I'll come and check on you in a few hours, okay?" he said, smiling at him and closing the door behind him. He then headed back down the stairs, only to find Arthur returning with a box of old car air fresheners.

"Merlin, Arthur, where did you find all of those?" he asked, knowing full well that they were useless now. He had seen some odd things and experienced some odd days but this had to be one of the oddest he had ever seen.

"I got it from... Erm…" he looked back out of the door as if searching for someone in the groups of muggles outside in the street, "From him," he said as he found the guy he had been looking for. "That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed," he stated, grinning a little. He then saw a car go past and said, "Wow. A *blue* car!"

Remus frowned and shook his head, lookng at the box again. "If Molly sees this she'll kill you," he said, "You know how hse is with your muggle things. Let's hide them upstairs." He climbed back up the stairs, walking into the library again, and opening the secret passageway there. "She won't find them here," he said, helping Arthur to push the box into the little hole in the wall of the hidden corridor,

"Thanks, Remus," Arthur said, giving his box a quick pat before stepping away from it. "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

Remus looked a little confused but nodded, "Yes, Arthur, of course it is. We should get back downstairs now," he said, not wanting to be alone with a man that was confusing him, and he hurriedly left the room, Arthur following him.

They went back to the kitchen to find the Order having a mini party and Remus decided he might as well join in for a while. The place was insane anyway that evening, why shouldn't he let himself have a little fun?


End file.
